Disney Princess Mt. Rushmore

 Disney Princess Mt. Rushmore

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host, David, and today we’re going to celebrate some amazing, animated heroines!

I realize I teased a hockey movie episode at the end of May’s Best & Worst show, but the World Cup and my OCD got in the way, so that episode has been postponed. It will still be happening, but it’ll be at the start of the hockey season instead of at the end of it.

So today is all about the Princesses. A fitting episode for Father’s Day even though most of these ladies’ fathers aren’t very good at being fathers.

You know how I feel about Disney in general, but I am all in on the Princesses, and today we’re going to celebrate four of them in our Official Cinema Wellman Disney Princess Mt. Rushmore.

I am lucky enough to have visited the real Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota three times in my life and it is a magical place, especially when no one is there and you can watch the sun come up on those big heads.

There are four presidents on Mt. Rushmore, so we’ll have four princesses on this Cinema Wellman Rushmore.

For this episode I didn’t want to just give you my Princess Rushmore, so I once again asked for help in determining the final lineup.

I ended up getting input from 15 people, so this final four came from them and not me. 

While researching this episode I found that while there is an official list of Disney Princesses, there is NOT an official list of criteria for making that list.

First, the lineup of 13 Princesses!

Presented in chronological order of their film’s release:

1. Snow White

2. Cinderella

3. Aurora a.k.a. Briar Rose a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty

4. Ariel

5. Belle

6. Jasmine

7. Pocahontas

8. Mulan

9. Tiana

10.  Rapunzel

11.  Merida

12.  Moana

13.  Raya

And what gets you on this list? 

Unofficially, of course:

*You must star in a theatrically released animated Disney or Pixar film 

   (NO straight to video princesses!)

*You are usually royal by birth, marriage, or tribal leadership

*You must be human/mostly human (and I’m not sure what they mean by “mostly” human)

*You must be central to the story

So if that’s what it takes to get “Princess Status,” who gets snubbed?

1. Mirabel Madrigal from Encanto - not royal

2. Alice from Alice in Wonderland - not royal, but has certainly seen some shit

3. Giselle from Enchanted - hybrid animation/live action character

4. Tinkerbell - not human

5. Princess Leia (not animated, but Disney does own her and she’s a princess!)

And then there’s the debate surrounding Frozen’s Elsa & Anna. 

While they do meet the criteria for admission to the club, I read that the Frozen brand became too gigantic to simply place those two characters under the regular Disney Princess umbrella.

In other words, Elsa & Anna aren’t Disney Princesses because of Disney greed. The rat’s gotta eat.

Six of those “unofficial princesses” earned votes in my polling because I wasn’t about to tell someone that their character wasn’t “Princess Worthy.”

I’ll leave that to Disney.

I’ll get to our Mt. Rushmore in a bit, but first I want to talk a little about the “2nd Tier” of Princesses according to our voting.

These ladies finished 5th through 8th in our very unscientific, yet heartfelt, poll:

Merida from Brave, Rapunzel from Tangled, Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, and Pocahontas from Night of the Living Dead. (just kidding, she’s a “title character,” as you know).

Speaking of title characters, of the 13 official Disney Princesses, only FIVE are given title recognition; Snow White, Cinderella, Mulan, Moana, and Pocahontas.

I just watched a film titled Ariel, but it was a bleak Finnish rom com about a coal miner.

I’m not making that up.

Merida, Rapunzel, Tiana, and Pocahontas were our worthy runners-up to our top four ladies, and all have merit and deserve some recognition.

As I mentioned, I did not vote in these proceedings. The results came from the 15 people I enlisted for help in this project and thank you to all of them for continuing to participate in my shenanigans. 

I did NOT vote, but three of our top four are on my personal Disney Princess Mt. Rushmore, and I have zero issues with today’s number four. 

Presenting, in no particular order…. The Warrior, The Explorer, The Rebel Princess (no, it’s NOT Leia!), and The Intellectual.

Our Warrior Princess is courageous, clever, persistent, and strong.

Our Explorer Princess is curious, adventurous, spirited, and determined.

Our Rebel Princess is self-reliant, strong, confident, and compassionate.

Our Intellectual Princess is independent, kind, brave, and intelligent.

Firing off those adjectives like an 8th grade teacher filling out a private high school application!

Let’s begin with that Warrior Princess who is courageous, clever, persistent, and strong.

AND she’s the only member of our Mt. Rushmore who has title recognition!

From 1998, it’s Mulan, voiced by Ming-Na Wen!

IMDb: “To save her father from death in the army, a young maiden secretly goes in his place and becomes one of China's greatest heroines in the process.”

Mulan was the very first Disney film to be released on DVD, and it features one of only two Disney Princesses to wear trousers! The other trouser wearing princess ALSO made our final four! Wearing those pants!

Mulan is one of two left-handed princesses, and we love that! The other being Tiana.

This was Disney’s first movie to openly deal with warfare and has a body count of close to 4,000!

This Princess means business! 

Disney itself emphasizes Mulan’s courage, creativity, determination, and ability to challenge expectations.

Here’s a quote of Mulan’s from one of her songs that explores the inner conflict she’s facing, and everybody has some inner conflict now and then.

"Look at Me, I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter

Can it be, I'm not meant to play this part?

Now I see that if I were truly to be myself,

I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Somehow, I cannot hide who I am, though I've tried

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

You can be strong and still struggle with inner conflict, that's for sure.

There seems to be some interest in a future episode about Disney Princess sidekicks, so I’ll mention that Mulan’s sidekick is Mushu, voiced by Eddie Murphy.

Our next princess is our Explorer Princess, and she is curious, adventurous, spirited, and determined.

From 1989’s The Little Mermaid, it’s Ariel, voiced by Jodi Benson!

IMDb: “A mermaid princess makes a Faustian bargain in an attempt to become human and win a prince’s love.”

Wow. “Faustian?” Highbrow allusion there, IMDb!

Ariel is the 1st Disney Princess with biological siblings!

Ariel is the 1st red-headed Disney Princess!

And, Ariel is the 1st Disney Princess to rescue her romantic interest! No damsel in distress here, it’s Eric in distress!

Ariel’s defining traits are her fascination with the unknown, her desire to explore, and her willingness to chase her dreams. 

I’m not going to sing it, I don’t want to make you hate this movie, but once again, our princess gets her point across with a song:

"What would I give if I could live out of the water

What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand

Betcha on land they understand that they don't reprimand their daughters

Bright young women, sick of swimmin, ready to stand!

And ready to know what the people know, ask 'em my questions and get some answers!

What's a fire and why does it...what's the word? Burn!

When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?

Out of the sea, wish I could be part of that world!"

The old grass is greener debate brought to you by Hans Christian Andersen and Disney songwriters.

I consulted my Little Mermaid expert when it came to Ariel’s sidekick, and it would be Flounder (voiced by Jason Marin), but Sebastian (voiced by Samuel E. Wright) was also there to support Ariel and guide her way.

Our 3rd princess is our Rebel Princess, and she is self-reliant, strong, confident, and compassionate.

And she also wears trousers! Very cool Barbara Edenesque pants!

From 1992’s Aladdin, it’s Jasmine, voiced by Linda Larkin!

IMDb: “A kind-hearted street urchin and a power-hungry Grand Vizier view for a magic lamp that has the power to make their deepest wishes come true.”

NO mention of Jasmine in that synopsis at all! 

So while Jasmine is Disney’s 1st Middle Eastern Princess, her speaking and singing voices are provided by an American and a Filipina, so two steps forward…

Jasmine is admirable because she is someone who refuses to let others decide her future and stands up for herself and others, as shown by one of her best quotes from the film;

"How dare you! All of you! Standing around deciding my future?! I am NOT a prize to be won!"

You go, Jasmine! I, personally, have always liked her attitude.

Jasmine's sidekick is her trusty tiger Rajah who isn't voiced by anyone since he doesn't speak. He is, however, very protective of and affectionate toward our princess.

We have one princess to go and Our Intellectual Princess is independent, kind, brave, and intelligent.

Must be all those books she reads.

From 1991’s Beauty and the Beast, it’s Belle, voiced by Paige O’Hara!

IMDb: “A prince cursed to spend his days as a hideous monster sets out to regain his humanity by earning a young woman’s love.”

Belle’s blue & white dress and hairstyle were inspired by Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.

Belle is our 1st brown-haired Disney Princess.

Belle is the only official Disney Princess with hazel eyes.

Belle is the 3rd Disney Princess to live in France (Cinderella & Aurora).

Belle is the ONLY Disney Princess to not wear her signature dress for the majority of the film. She only dons the yellow gown for “Tale as Old as Time” and at the very end of the film.

Belle is almost universally framed as the “book-loving” princess: curious, thoughtful, compassionate, and willing to sacrifice herself for her father.

“Can anyone be happy if they aren’t free?” and “I want so much more than they’ve got planned,” are two of Belle’s quotes that show her desire to live her best life.

When it comes to sidekicks, Belle really doesn’t have any, unless you count her “adopted” sidekicks once she moves into the castle. If they count then you have Cogsworth (voiced by David Ogden Stiers) and, my all-time favorite, Lumiere (voiced by the great Jerry Orbach).

Our official Cinema Wellman Disney Princess Mt. Rushmore is now complete! We have Mulan, Ariel, Jasmine, and Belle, and the adjectives I’ve been using throughout this episode that describe these four princesses have nothing to do with appearance.

Remember it’s what’s inside that counts, and Belle would remind us not to judge a book by its cover. 

Well, that is a wrap from Cinema Wellman for a Father’s Day episode honoring Disney Princesses who are all better people than their fathers!

I can say the same about my own daughters, and I’m proud of that! (Not that I’m a bad person or anything, they’re just better…)

Next up for us will be the Best & Worst of June episode followed by a jam-packed July featuring our World Cup Episode, Cinema Wellman’s 2nd Annual Shark Week (in which we’ll rank EVERY Sharknado film, and the Top 10 and Bottom 5 of 1976 (that’s 50 years ago!), so plenty of Summer Shenanigans are planned, and we hope you’ll be here for them all!

Until then, take care.

May's Best & Worst

 May’s Best & Worst

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host, David, and the month of May has blown past us, so I’m here to recap the movies that made an impact, for better or worse.

Before I begin, I’d like to thank Mr. Well-Mo for hosting our last episode! I knew I wouldn’t be able to discuss 10 (mostly horror) clown movies without creeping myself out, so I asked Mr. Well-Mo to take the con, and he did an admirable job.

For a clown.

And I did love Apocalypse Clown and Funzo!

We screened a total of 45 here in May, and 10 of those, as you may know, were clown related, so they’re out of the mix.

For this reason, we only have ONE film on the worst list today, and I will tell you that it’s so bad that it can really represent five horrible films all on its own.

Apex Predators (2021)

(original title Jaws of Los Angeles)

UR/75 m/IMDb: 1.4/directed by Dustin Ferguson

IMDb: “The bodies of beach goers begin washing ashore during the grand opening of a new resort with dire results.”

Let’s begin with the 1.4 score on IMDb.

I went through all of the films that we’ve screened for our “Which Was Worse?” episodes, and there’s only ONE on that list with a lower score, and most of those movies were straight up trash.

I also checked all of the scores for the Sharknado movies I’ll be screening for “Cinema Wellman’s 2nd annual Shark Week” this summer and NONE of them have a score this low.

I will add that Apex Predators was absolutely worthy of that 1.4 rating.

They could have actually gone a little lower on this one.

I had so many issues with this movie that I started to make short videos for myself so I wouldn’t forget anything.

Those notes included:

*Stock footage is absolutely gorgeous, but everything else appears to be out of an adult film.

*A character goes 100% Taken monologue on a shark! “I will find you, etc.”

*Can’t remember seeing even one real shark attack worthy of mentioning.

*Features a cut-rate Jay and Silent Bob who are, I guess, here for comic relief. They smoke weed and listen to music. One of them delivers the line, “Don’t make me take off my shirt and release my loose moobs.” What does that even mean? I mean, I can guess, but I really don’t want to.

*Sharks can and do attack in shallow water, but calf deep? Knee deep? Does that happen? 

*The owner of the resort is one of the worst actors I’ve ever seen in a bad movie, and that is saying A LOT! 

*A subtitle error was one of the most entertaining parts of watching this. Whenever a character mentions a “rogue” shark, the subtitles read “rouge” shark. That made me laugh, and that would, 100%, be a better movie.

*I had to take a video of the end of the movie because I honestly couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The Channing Tatum knock-off of a main character wakes up to car alarms, helicopters, houses on fire and people running. When he goes outside to investigate, he sees a gigantic shark rising out of the horizon, and the shark is roaring. It had absolutely nothing to do with the previous 73 minutes.

*I know this is a bold prediction, but I really don’t think ANY of the Sharknado movies are going to be this bad.

They can’t be, right?

The “summary” on IMDb reads as follows; “Reviewers say Apex Predators is an unwatchable disaster that ranks among the worst films they’ve ever seen.”

So there.

Well, at least that’s that for the worst of the month.

Next, we have plane crashes, errant missiles, zombies, a vengeful bride, and a flock of very intelligent sheep!

Thankfully, no sharks.

Send Help (2026)

R/113 m/IMDb: 6.8/directed by Sam Raimi

IMDb: “An overworked analyst and her arrogant nepo-baby boss survive a plane crash near Thailand and must cooperate to survive on a remote jungle island while their workplace power dynamic collapses around them.”

If you’ve been here before for one of these “Best & Worst” of the month episodes, you know how they work.

Making the “Best” list for the month means that and only that. The movie being discussed was one of the best movies we screened in that month, and it’s a movie we wanted to talk about.

That’s pretty much it. 

We’re not suggesting it was a great film, or a film that needs to be recognized and awarded, it was just one of the best films we screened in the previous month.

We are never saying that the movie is perfect, and Send Help is far from perfect. 

It actually raised many more questions than it answered, but it was still a lot of fun while I was watching it. 

It helps that we love Rachel McAdams here at Cinema Wellman, and I’m not alone since at least two other people I know told me they wouldn’t have watched it if it wasn’t for McAdams and her co-star Dylan O’Brien.

McAdams plays the quintessential put-upon unappreciated female employee who is treated terribly by her obnoxious male co-workers.

It takes a lot to make Rachel McAdams look unappealing, but the filmmakers certainly do their best as she joins these clowns on the corporate jet that eventually crashes and sets up McAdams and her boss O’Brien as the sole survivors on a deserted island.

O’Brien’s character is so hateful that it’s easy to root against him when McAdams turns the tables on him. She’s enjoying the power, and she’s not about to give it up (or try to get rescued for that matter).

The plane crash sequence is well done and is both harrowing and funny at times.

The scene where McAdams fights a boar is also pretty intense as you learn from the start that she is more than able to fend for herself in the wild. The mouthful of blood scene had me a bit queasy, I must say.

Are there plot holes? Yes.

Did I keep coming up with questions I couldn’t answer for days after I watched? Yes.

If you watch this, you’ll know exactly what I mean. 

Next up is a political thriller by a director who knows a thing or two about political thrillers. 

A House of Dynamite (2025)

R/112 m/IMDb: 6.4/directed by Kathryn Bigelow

IMDb: “When a single, unattributed missile is launched at the United States, a race begins to determine who is responsible and how to respond.”

Kathryn Bigelow is a two-time Oscar winner, and she helms this unsettling film that certainly makes you wonder what really would happen in this situation.

We’ve certainly seen movies about missiles heading towards the United States, but what makes this one compelling is that we’re not sure who fired it at us making potential retaliation quite risky as the clock is ticking.

Do you launch nuclear weapons at a country (or countries) who may be innocent?

Do you not retaliate and sit idly by while Chicago is incinerated?

AND what do all of these highly paid military crisis people do on days there AREN’T missiles heading toward us?

This was a thought-provoking nail biter that may not give you the ending you were looking for, but is satisfying, nonetheless.

You may want to pay attention to the closing credits for the answers to one of the questions you’ll probably have.

And it’s not one of those mid credit scenes, either. 

Next up is a zombie film that’s not your usual zombie film.

We Bury the Dead (2024) - Australia

R/95 m/IMDb: 5.6/directed by Zak Hilditch

IMDb: “After a military catastrophe leaves Tasmania filled with partially reanimated corpses, a volunteer searching for her missing husband abandons recovery operations and travels south through isolated communities collapsing beneath guilt.”

Zombies have been around since stories have been around.

The thought of someone dying but not being totally dead has fascinated countless cultures since the beginning of time.

Because of that we also have countless movies and television shows about our undead friends and families which makes it difficult to stand out in a field filled with so many zombies.

You’ve got your slow zombies, you’ve got your reasonably ambulatory zombies, and you have everyone’s favorites; the fast zombies (which doesn’t quite seem fair).

No matter the speed of the zombie, chances are you’re going to have some difficulty defeating them.

Add to that the storyline that one of those zombies out there used to be mom or dad or husband or wife, and things get even more complicated.

That twist adds something to the zombie movie equation.

We Bury the Dead then adds another element that, in my opinion, elevates it from your usual zombie fare.

You know how ghosts in some ghost stories catch a bit of a break because they’re “lost?”

They’re dead, but they have some unfinished business here and won’t be at rest until things have been settled? 

We’ve all seen that in a ghost movie.

But have you seen it in a zombie movie?

Next up is a movie whose screening led to a future episode that’s already in the works, and it’s a topic I’m surprised has eluded us for four plus seasons!

The Bride Wore Black (1968) - France

UR/107 m/IMDb: 7.2/directed by Francois Truffaut

IMDb: “Julie Kohler is prevented from suicide by her mother and leaves town. She will track down, charm, and kill five men who do not know her. What is her goal? What is her purpose?”

Julie Kohler is played by a 40-year-old Jeanne Moreau who I loved in 1958’s Elevator to the Gallows, another French thriller.

The Bride Wore Black is director Francois Truffaut’s homage to his friend Alfred Hitchcock.

The source material was written by Cornell Woolrich, who wrote “It Had to Be Murder,” which Hitchcock adapted into Rear Window.

Truffaut also has frequent Hitchcock collaborator Bernard Herrmann along to score the film.

The five men Julie is hunting down and killing were all involved in the death of her husband on their wedding day.

She’s not military, special ops, or law enforcement, she’s just a woman who had the man she loved taken away from her and is now out for revenge.

Which got me thinking of my favorite revenge movies, and it’s always dangerous when I start making a list.

Coming soon to Cinema Wellman….REVENGE!!!!

The best part of a revenge film is the lengths the person is willing to go to to exact their revenge.

Moreau’s Kohler is definitely all in on her plan, and it’s great fun watching her check off the names on her list.

One more movie to go and it’s a murder mystery, which we love here almost as much as a thriller.

The Sheep Detectives (2026) - Ireland

PG/109 m/IMDb: 7.7/directed by Kyle Balda

IMDb: “Every night a shepherd reads aloud a murder mystery, pretending his sheep can understand. When he is found dead, the sheep realize it was murder and think they know everything about how to go about solving it.”

Hannah brought this movie to my attention months ago when she read about it and the fact that it was being released on her birthday, May 8th.

She and I have been doing a book club this year and have been reading murder mysteries written by Agatha Christie, so this movie was in our wheelhouse, and I was excited to see it as part of her birthday celebration.

I really loved everything about this movie from the shepherd (played by Hugh Jackman) to all the sheep (voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart, Regina Hall, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Brett Goldstein, Chris O’Dowd, Rhys Darby, and Bella Ramsey), to a non-sheep Emma Thompson!

I will surprise absolutely no one by admitting that I cried a couple times watching this, it was so sweet.

And the part about the sheep being able to forget….

And the one sheep who can’t forget, so he carries all of their pain…

And the little Winter Lamb!!!!

Absolutely delightful, and I can’t recommend this enough.

Who knew sheep could be so much fun!

Well, that’s a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman and the Best & Worst of May. We hope you’re back with us next time as our Season 5 Sports Series continues with the Wellman Cup Special salute to hockey movies.

Until then, take care.