9 Innings with Cinema Wellman

 9 Innings with Cinema Wellman

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host David, and the 122nd World Series of baseball begins tonight with the Milwaukee Brewers hosting the Tampa Bay Rays, so we have 9 innings worth of baseball movies to celebrate the “Fall Classic.”

I love baseball and I have since I was a little kid, but there are some things about it that piss me off so I will first air one particular grievance with MLB before talking about nine baseball movies I love.

1987 was 39 years ago. That’s the last time a World Series game was played during the daytime, and that was IN A DOME!

1984 was 42 years ago. That’s the last time a World Series game was played during the daytime OUTSIDE in natural light.

I know why these daytime World Series games disappeared, and that’s simply greed. 

Advertising and advertising money has shifted everything to prime time, and I think baseball has missed out on generations of fans because of this practice.

It also makes me sad that kids haven’t listened to postseason baseball on the bus on the way home from school for 42 years now.

I know that won’t change, but it still bums me out.

Well, enough negativity, let’s go 9 innings worth of quality baseball films, leading off with…

A League of Their Own (1992)

PG/128 m/IMDb: 7.4/directed by Penny Marshall

IMDb: “During World War II, sisters Dottie and Kit join the first female professional baseball league and struggle to help it succeed amid their own growing rivalry.”

“Are you crying? Are you crying? There’s no crying. There’s no crying in baseball!”

That line, delivered by Tom Hanks, is probably what most people remember about this movie, but it’s an extremely watchable baseball movie based on a true story.

A League of Their Own is a fictionalized account of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League that existed from 1943-1954.

That league was founded by “gum guy” Phillip K. Wrigley during the war years.

Major League Baseball did not shut down during the war, but the AAGPBL was popular because so many MLB players went to war that the league suffered from poor play.

The last champion in the league was the Kalamazoo Lassies, and the Rockford Peaches won the most championships with four. 

If you’ve ever wondered why movies cost so much damn money to make (and keep in mind that this movie was made 34 years ago), the production rented and closed down a bar for three weeks in order to shoot a three minute scene.

AND Debra Winger was paid $2 million for this film.

What? She’s not in it?

Exactly.

Everyone who auditioned had to prove they could play. 

Only Geena Davis didn’t do her own baseball stunts.

I read that many major stars were very interested in being in this movie, but they just couldn’t play baseball. 

And the real women these actresses are portraying are shown at the Baseball Hall of Fame over the closing credits. 

I love when movies do that. 

A League of Their Own made more money at the box office than Field of Dreams and Bull Durham COMBINED!

And NEITHER of those films are on today’s list because of Kevin Costner.

Next up is a film about the fictional New York Mammoths baseball team that dresses just like the Yankees and plays in BOTH Yankee AND Shea Stadium.

 

Bang the Drum Slowly (1973)

PG/96 m/IMDb: 6.7/directed by John D. Hancock

IMDb: “The story of the friendship between the New York Mammoths major-league baseball team’s worldly-wise pitcher Henry “Author” Wiggen and half-wit catcher Bruce Pearson as they cope with Bruce’s terminal illness during a baseball season.”

I saw this when it came out in 1973, and had no idea who Robert De Niro was.

Future two-time Oscar winner Robert De Niro had to audition seven times before he was cast as Bruce Pearson. 

Unlike A League of Their Own, DeNiro couldn’t play baseball at all and was unfamiliar with the fundamentals of the game at the time he was cast.

This may be the least known of the movies on today’s list, and I think it’s worth a look because it’s more than a sports movie.

Like a lot of these sports movies are. 

I mentioned that this was shot at both Shea and Yankee Stadiums and the lack of advertising is jarring.

We’ve become so used to that. 

Next is a movie about baseball and gambling and I’m hoping my head doesn’t explode due to the hypocrisies. 

Eight Men Out (1988)

PG/119 m/IMDb: 7.2/directed by John Sayles

IMDb: “A dramatization of the Black Sox scandal when the underpaid Chicago White Sox accepted bribes to deliberately lose the 1919 World Series.”

I already mentioned how mad I am about the lack of day World Series games, and here’s something else that steams my clams, and it’s not just baseball.

After decades of staunch anti-gambling platforms, ALL of the leagues have gotten directly into bed with the people they always claimed were weakening the “integrity” of the games. 

Not only is sports betting legal in many states, you are constantly bombarded by betting information no matter what sport you’re watching.

With how buddy buddy the leagues have become with the bookies, looking at past gambling scandals in sports makes the leagues look so hypocritical.

I honestly am rooting for major gambling scandals in all of the sports.

Scandals involving major stars would even be better.

I’d love to watch it all burn.

Justice for Shoeless Joe Jackson!

I realize I just took my Eight Men Out time to complain about sports gambling, so I’ll just add that it’s a really good movie that attempts to tell an accurate story about the Black Sox scandal of 1919, a scandal that I wrote a paper about in AP History.

Even then, I supported Shoeless Joe.

I do want to mention a soundtrack cue in case you screen it in the future; when the Black Sox are playing “legit” baseball, the soundtrack features ragtime music, and when they’re playing “dishonest” baseball, there is no music.

And I also wanted to mention that Bush Stadium in Indianapolis was used to imitate BOTH Comiskey Park and Crosley Field.

Bush Stadium was tiny in comparison to modern baseball stadiums; its capacity never topped 16,000.

And director John Sayles STILL had to use cardboard cutouts to fill the stands!

Next up is the baseball movie that inspired relief pitcher Mitch Williams to become the “Wild Thing.”

Major League (1989)

R/107 m/IMDb: 7.3/directed by David S. Ward

IMDb: “The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they’ll lose and she can move the team. But when the plot is uncovered, they start winning just to spite her.”

Director David S. Ward was a lifetime fan of the Tribe and made this movie because he figured it would be the only way he’d ever get to see the Indians win anything, and I applaud that. 

The cast is pretty impressive, my favorite being Dennis Haysbert as Pedro Cerrano before going on to play President David Palmer in 24.

Bob Uecker is also a treat as Harry Doyle, who gave us the famous, “Juuuust a bit outside,” line.

Charlie Sheen took steroids for his role as Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, which does not surprise me at all.

The game sequences were filmed at Milwaukee’s County Stadium which used to be the home of the Milwaukee Brewers, and do I have a story to tell you about County Stadium.

You're traveling through another dimension. a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead: your next stop: County Stadium, Milwaukee, Wisconsin the 18th of June in the year of our BratLord 1986.

In that game, the Brewers beat the Blue Jays 3-1, but nobody cares about any of that.

It wasn’t baseball, but a feat of gastrointestinal bravado/idiocy that has had my friends and I chirping about this for 40 years now. 

Fitting that I tell this tale on its 40th anniversary.

This is a story that I’ve told for so long and in so many variations I wasn’t sure what was true or embellished after almost half a century.

Which is why I asked two of the people that were there for the entire thing what they recall about the night (aside from Larry and his meat sweats which all of us recall).

I guess the following is as true as it will ever get.

Larry, Andrew, Donny, and I went on a baseball road trip in June of 1986.

We flew to Chicago (staying with Andrew’s Uncle Terry, his family, and his menagerie) and saw a Cubs game at Wrigley.

We also saw a White Sox game at Comiskey that I’ll now claim that the Pope attended. 

Pope Leo is a White Sox fan, born in 1955, it was a home game, he would have been 31 at the time.

Let’s just assume the Pope was there. Pre-Pope.

In addition to our Chicago games, we also rented a car and drove to Milwaukee to see a Brewers game at County Stadium.

On the way in, Larry states he’s so excited to be at County Stadium to see the Brew Crew that he could probably eat a bratwurst an inning.

Spoiler Alert: He could not.

To be fair, Larry actually DID accomplish this gastronomic feat only to be denied the glory and adulations and instead be thrust into a lifetime of scorn and ridicule on a technicality.

Did Larry consume 9 bratwurst that evening?

Yes. Yes he did.

So, what’s the beef?

Well, unfortunately Larry took a bite from that very first bratwurst of the evening during the National Anthem which, technically, isn’t “during” the game.

Should his friends have told him this right off the bat and spared Larry (and his colon) the misery that would follow?

Yes. Indeed they should have.

Did they?

No.

And, adding insult to injury, I think Larry had to pay for all of the brats himself at somewhere around $1.50-$2.00 a brat. 

Luckily it was 40 years ago. That stunt today would cost Larry over $63.

His moron friends DID, however, come across with a Brewers prize package containing a pair of Brewers boxer shorts and a plastic batting helmet.

My favorite part of the evening certainly wasn’t spending 90 minutes with Larry in a car on the way home, but his interaction with two young kids sitting in front of us, one of which became a fan.

Young teenage girl and younger brother are privy to this entire thing the whole game.

During the 3rd inning she asked me what my friend was doing.

"He’s attempting to eat a bratwurst an inning."

Her response was, “Why?” and I didn’t have an answer and just moved on.

As they’re leaving, the little brother asks Larry to sign his program which Larry does with the last inch and a half of brat.

That was epic.

And one of the reasons I’ll be rooting for the Brewers in the World Series.

I think I’ll need to stock up on brats!

The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings (1976)

PG/110 m/IMDb: 6.8/directed by John Badham

IMDb: “In the late 1930s during racial segregation, a star of the Negro League Baseball, Bingo Long, leaves his team and convinces other stars of the league to join him as free agent players touring the towns of the Midwest.”

This was the theatrical directorial debut of John Badham who went on to direct such films as Saturday Night Fever, Blue Thunder, and WarGames.

Think of the Motor Kings as a baseball version of the Harlem Globetrotters, or a precursor to the Savannah Bananas.

Billy Dee Williams, James Earl Jones, and Richard Pryor head a great cast in a story that is as much about racism in America at the time as it is about baseball.

And if you think James Earl Jones, Darth Vader himself, can’t do comedy, you need to see this.

And that episode of “The Big Bang Theory” that he did.

Four “innings” to go, and the next baseball movie ALSO features James Earl Jones!

The Sandlot (1993)

PG/101 m/IMDb: 7.8/directed by David Mickey Evans

IMDb: “In the summer of 1962, a new kid in town is taken under the wing of a young baseball prodigy and his rowdy team, resulting in many adventures.”

We’ve already had the iconic baseball movie lines “There’s no crying in baseball,” and “Juuust a bit outside,” and now we have, “You’re killing me Smalls!”

Shot in sequence in 42 days, this is a baseball movie with kids as the stars (as is our next film), and at least one of the kids will probably remind you of someone you grew up with.

This is just good, solid fun which will most likely have you thinking of the friends of your youth, some of which stay with you for life.

These kids were outfitted with Converse canvas Chuck Taylors or P.F. Flyers (part of the early 60s kid “uniform”) so that is ALL good from the standpoint of a geezer like me. 

The dog in this film “The Beast” was from a litter of pups fathered by the dog who played Cujo.

Nepo puppy.

The Bad News Bears (1976)

PG/102 m/IMDb: 7.3/directed by Michael Ritchie

IMDb: “An aging, down-on-his-luck ex-minor leaguer coaches a team of misfits in an ultra-competitive California little league.”

That aging coach, Morris Buttermaker, is played to perfection by Walter Matthau who sets a wonderful example for his misfit team.

Well, it may not be a wonderful example, but it is certainly a better way to be than the behavior exhibited by the other team coached by Vic Morrow.

Coach Buttermaker is shown drinking Budweiser, Miller High Life, Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Lucky Lager, Mickey’s “Big Mouth,” and Coors. 

Sounds like the beer cooler grab bag we used to have at the Middlehope Drive-In!

Jodi Foster was almost Amanda, the Bear’s star pitcher, but she dropped out to do Taxi Driver.

I’m assuming everyone watching has seen this, but I do want to give a little spoiler alert about the ending.

The Bears lose the championship game at the end, but filmmakers tested a version where Kelly was safe and the Bears won.

It didn’t test as well, so they took the loss. 

The Natural (1984)

PG/138 m/IMDb: 7.4/directed by Barry Levinson

IMDb: “A middle-aged unknown comes seemingly out of nowhere to become a legendary baseball player with almost supernatural talent.”

We’ve spoken about The Natural on the show previously because it is probably my favorite baseball movie.

Critics say it’s hokey.

It is hokey. So what? Big deal.

It all works from where I sit, and it works every time I watch it. 

The cast includes three Oscar winners and three Oscar nominees (we love keeping track of that around here!).

I read the book by Bernard Malamud before I saw the movie, and it was quite different. I remember the book being darker, but I may be mistaken; it’s been a while. 

Malamud loosely based The Natural on the story of Sir Percival from the Arthurian myth.

The “Savoy Special” bat and Roy Hobb’s NY Knights jacket is on display at Cooperstown.

I just saw Glen Close show up at an event wearing a NY Knights jacket! We love Glen because she’s a Mets fan, along with Julia Stiles and Kevin Paul Blart Mall Cop James!

Speaking of Glen Close, that shot of her in the stands as the sun sets behind her creating a halo around her is pure non-CGI movie magic.

Also non-CGI…the cardboard cutouts in the stands as fans!

So many movies on this list did that.

One to go, and it’s kind of cheating because it’s 18 ½ hours long.

Baseball (1994)

TV-PG/1110 m/IMDb: 9.2/directed by Ken Burns & Lynn Novick

IMDb: “A documentary on the history of the sport with major topics including minority players, player/team owner relations and the resilience of the game.”

This magnificently comprehensive look at the history of the game first aired in the fall of 1994 when much of the season and the World Series were cancelled due to a strike.

Some say another of those work stoppages is coming next year, which would be a good reason to watch this entire series again. 

When it first aired, it was divided into 9 innings for viewing and a phenomenal book was published to accompany it.

I couldn’t put my hands on them, but I took copious notes when I first watched it back in 1994.

One of the colorful characters I recall taking notes about was pitcher Rube Waddell.

*He drank so much, The Sporting News nicknamed him the “Sousepaw.”

*He forgot how many women he had married.

*On the mound his attention tended to wander and opponents found they could break his concentration by holding up puppies or bright, shiny toys.

*Rube also loved fires and when a fire bell clanged he had to be restrained on the mound to keep him from leaving the game and chasing the fire engine.

There are so many wild and bizarre stories about the players and history of the game, and not all of them are positive, that’s for sure.

But you cannot argue the fact that Ken Burns Baseball covers all the bases when it comes to telling the story of the game many of us love.

Well, that is a wrap from the Cinema Wellman dugout as we celebrated the opening of this year’s World Series by filling out our lineup card with our favorite baseball movies of all-time.

Enjoy the World Series if you’ll be watching. 

We hope you’re back with us next time for our annual Halloween episode!

This season we will be celebrating one of our all-time favorites, and this episode grants her official inclusion into the “Friends of Cinema Wellman” circle; our first “Last Girl,” Jamie Lee Curtis.

Until then, Go Brewers! and take care.