April’s Best & Worst

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host, David, and first off, I’d like to thank God for sitting in for me last week.

That episode was great fun, and he has already asked if he can return next season for another, and he usually gets his way.

There is no god today, so we're going to have to break down the Best & Worst of April without him. The good news is that God took the brunt of the bombs for the month in his episode which means I only have ONE movie to gripe about before highlighting a handful that are definitely worth your time. 

Six of the 49 movies we screened during the month of April were given the bomb, but five of them comprised the God’s Not Dead series, which we thankfully will NOT be revisiting, so there’s not much to complain about. 

I will anyway.

If you’re a regular here at Cinema Wellman, you’ve heard me prattle on and on about casts in movies, the directors who always seem to assemble the perfect cast, and how important casting is in the overall production.

Hard to overcome bad writing, or a bad cast, both of which are proven by…

The Pride and the Passion (1957)

AP/132 min./IMDb: 5.7/directed by Stanley Kramer

IMDb: “During the Napoleonic Wars, a British captain is sent to Spain to help prevent the French from stealing a powerful cannon.”

The three stars of this overly long movie that seemed to last as long as the Napoleonic Wars themselves are, no doubt, Hollywood royalty.

Sophia Loren, Carey Grant, and Frank Sinatra are a solid cast on paper.

But, as the old joke goes; too bad the movie wasn’t made on paper.

All three seemed terribly disinterested in the proceedings, and there was ZERO chemistry in a story that was supposed to feature a love triangle, along with all the cannon stuff.

I went back and forth trying to decide which was worse; Sinatra’s Spanish accent (touch of Hoboken?) or his hairpiece. 

This movie was so long that I did a little research during one of the scenes where they were moving the big cannon around (which happened quite frequently).

Turns out the story behind this production was way more interesting than the final product.

Interesting that there wasn’t any onscreen chemistry between Grant and Loren since he was obsessed with her and they had an affair on set!

Grant’s wife, Betsy Drake, found out about the affair and angrily left Spain. Unfortunately she left on the Andrea Doria which ended up being rammed and sunk by the Stockholm, another luxury liner. 

The S.S. Andrea Doria! Look it up, if unfamiliar. Poor Betsy.

Sinatra and his wife at the time, Ava Gardner, were having marital problems and the only reason he took this film was to be near her while she was shooting The Sun Also Rises in Europe.

When Sinatra realized there was not going to be a reconciliation, he pretty much left the production and told director Stanley Kramer to sue him to keep him there.

Sinatra did leave, and some scenes were later shot in Hollywood to appease him.

All of that off-screen drama added up to a total lack of on-screen drama.

These Hollywood legends looked as bored making this movie as I must have looked while watching it.

The good news is that that’s it for the worst, so things are looking up already! 

On the menu today for the remainder of the episode will be two film noirs and three animated movies that were screened while working on the “Animation Sensations” episode.

Let’s start with a crime drama/thriller from the 50s.

What a surprise, said absolutely no one who has ever seen an episode of this show.

Postmark for Danger (1955) - U.K.

AP/84 min./IMDb: 6.4/directed by Guy Green

IMDb: “A woman’s painted portrait and a postcard with a sketch of a woman’s hand holding a Chianti bottle are the main clues used by Scotland Yard to solve a string of murders connected to a diamond-smuggling ring.”

If you’re a regular here at Cinema Wellman, you may know that my favorite genre, hands down,  is the mystery/suspense/thriller, especially the sub-genre known as “film-noir.”

It’s why TCM is always high on the list of movie sources at the end of the year since I will watch, pretty much, ANY film-noir they add to their list.

Postmark for Danger (also known as Portrait of Alison) is a British mystery/noir that checks all of the boxes and was shot on location in and around London.

I loved how the investigators took these two seemingly unconnected “artistic” clues and put them together to solve the case. Way before the days of C.S.I.!

And the movie begins with a car going off a cliff and exploding!

Was Michael Bay making movies in 1955?!

Next up is a late 60s film noir.

Marlowe (1969)

M/96 min./IMDb: 6.4/directed by Paul Bogart

IMDb: “A young woman from Kansas hires LA private detective Phillip Marlowe to find her missing brother.”

More film noir to talk about before getting animated.

Fictional LA private dick Phillip Marlowe is no stranger to the movies.

Marlowe has been played by; Humphrey Bogart, Robert Montgomery, Elliot Gould, Robert Mitchum, James Caan, Liam Neeson, and in this film, James Garner.

James Garner is the only reason I watched this, and I did that because my mother adored him, especially as Jim Rockford in TV’s “The Rockford Files.”

Little did I know how much I’d like this movie and I was surprised at how very 40s noir it is even though it was made in 1969.

That had me thinking of some of the better film noir movies made after the heyday of the genre in the 40s and 50s.

Chinatown, Night Moves, Body Heat, Mulholland Drive, and the Coen Brothers’ phenomenal Blood Simple are all examples of exceptional film noir pieces that do the genre total justice.

I watched Marlowe for Garner, but was delighted by so many aspects of this film. 

Carroll O’Connor, William Daniels, and Jackie Coogan are in this movie, so, Archie Bunker, Mr. Feeney, and Uncle Fester!

Bruce Lee is also in this! It’s only the second American film in which he was allowed to speak with his own voice AND the only film in which he plays a villain.

When his character, gangster Winslow Wong, walks into Marlowe’s office, my first thought was, “Is that Bruce Lee?!!” I hadn’t looked up anything about the movie other than making sure I hadn’t seen it.

Winslow Wong then destroys Marlowe’s office with a series of kicks and punches in his own “rage room.”

Yes, that was Bruce Lee.

Marlowe also features an EGOT winner!

Rita Moreno is one of only 21 entertainers who has won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony.

That has to be an upcoming episode because there are SO MANY people who are only one trophy away from joining that elite group.

Moreno is terrific in this film, as she is in absolutely everything she’s in. She’s just an amazing performer who can do it all. 

Trivia that means a lot to me regarding this film (and probably no one else); Marlowe was the very last film broadcast for New York’s WABC-TV afternoon slot “The 4:30 Movie” on November 26, 1981.

I loved everything about “The 4:30 Movie!”

The three remaining films are all animated and all were suggested by people I work with at the factory when I asked for input while preparing for our “Animation Sensations” episode.

The Black Cauldron (1985)

PG/80 min./IMDb: 6.3/directed by Ted Berman

IMDb: “A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.”

As I mentioned during our “Animation Sensations” episode, I asked friends and family to chime in with their favorite(s), and when I saw The Black Cauldron on that list, I had to laugh.

I always thought this movie was based on “Dragon’s Lair,” that 80s cartoony video game that had the best animated graphics at the time. 

And while it does appear similar in appearance, I was very wrong.

The Black Cauldron was the first Disney animated film that’s not a musical, does not contain any songs in the background or performed by characters! They should have made more of these.

There was a scene in this movie that needed to be removed after angry moms and crying kids left screenings in droves!

What could cause that, you may ask?

Good question.

It seems there was a sequence in which rotted corpses were shown slowly fermenting complete with the flesh oozing and falling off the skeletons.

Toughen up, snowflakes!

The colors are so bold and vibrant, no surprise to learn that over 1,165 different hues and colors were used (along with over 400 gallons of paint!).

Thank you to Anthony for putting this animated fantasy quest on the list, it was very UN-Disney, and I like that!

Next up, animation by Rankin and Bass!

You know them. I know you do.

The Last Unicorn (1982)

G/92 min./IMDb: 7.3/directed by Arthur Rankin Jr. & Jules Bass

IMDb: “A beautiful unicorn sets out to learn if she truly is the last of her kind in this sparkling animated musical.”

Rankin & Bass are responsible for ALL of the following; Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Little Drummer Boy, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, The Little Drummer Boy and all sorts of sequels of those productions.

Chances are some of those titles are in your holiday wheelhouse, and rightly so.

And, if you’re a fan of any of those and haven’t seen The Last Unicorn, you’ll need to fix that soon because this film is an absolute treat.

Mia Farrow voices the title character and it’s truly heartbreaking to see her character struggling with the thought that she may be the very last unicorn.

Sir Christopher Lee voices King Haggard, and he showed up on set with his own copy of the source material complete with notes and segments that he would not allow to be changed. 

Lee did the same thing on the sets of The Lord of the Rings films he appeared in, and I love that!

Jeff Bridges, the voice of Prince Lir, did this film for free since it was one of his favorite books growing up.

The evil Haggard creates a “Red Bull” who rounds up all of the unicorns and forces them into the sea to drown.

This was a kid’s book?!?!

I don’t want to spoil anything else about this charming film other than I made a short video of myself sobbing when I realized what was happening at the end, and I only sent it to Hannah since it was so embarrassing.

The animators for this 1982 film are predominantly Japanese which is proof that Rankin & Bass knew what they were doing. 

AND the unicorn design from this movie was also used in the 80s cartoon Thundercats!

Thundercats are a GO!

Thank you to Joe for bringing this delightful film to my attention. It’s an absolute delight.

And kind of scary as well! 

One film remaining, and it’s a Studio Ghibli film, so you know how I feel about it already!

Pom Poko (1994) - Japan

PG/119 min./IMDb: 7.2/directed by Isao Takahata

IMDb: “A community of magical shape-shifting raccoon dogs struggle to prevent their forest home from being destroyed by urban development.”

You had me at “shape-shifting raccoon dogs!”

There aren’t many films left on the “Studio Ghibli Yet to See” list, and now Pom Poko will join the always crowded list of “Studio Ghibli Films to Re-Watch.”

I am a fan of shape shifters in movies, and it’s a power I wish I actually had.

These raccoon dogs are wonderful to watch as they go against developers who aim on de-foresting their forest.

So let’s recap: Studio Ghibli - check, shape-shifting raccoon dogs - check, a pro-environment/anti-development story - check, and I forgot to mention the snarky narrator, who is a treat - check!

As I often do here, I don’t want to tell you too much more about this movie since I think you should definitely see it for yourself. 

Thank you to Tyler for suggesting this, and I needed to check my archives because I thought I had already seen it.

The Cinema Wellman Archives proving itself useful once again!

Well, that is a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman and our re-cap of the Best & Worst of April.

We hope you join us this Sunday for an episode I’m going to dedicate to my mom since it’s Mother’s Day.

The episode is simply titled “Gowns by…” and we hope you join us for that (after you call your mom and tell her you love her, of course!)

Until then, take care.